Don't call me a Christian. I can't stand those people.

I don't care for Christians. They're mean.

Truly, I have never met a group of people with more disdainful, hateful, judgmental, and cruel members. If I were to put out a survey asking people to describe Christians in one word, what do you think it would be? Would it be loving? Or forgiving? Comforting? Enlightening? Encouraging? Would people say of Christians, "Wow! They are so loving and kind, how do I get to be a part of that?" You know the answer.

I don't know when it happened or why really. I have my suspicions: power, money, the usual. I suppose that in our heart of hearts we are all sinners and we all have some dysfunctional desire to manipulate whatever we can in order to make ourselves an authority over others. Religion isn't any different. I could go into a long a sordid history of all the egregious acts committed throughout history in the name of Christ. We all know the stories and we all cringe a little when we hear them. But that was a different time, things are better now, right? Wrong.

Christianity has lost it's way. There's a good chance it happened so long ago that we didn't even realize it until now. I'm not talking about those crazy outliers, the fundamentalists and the creationists etc, I'm talking about the difference between what it was to follow Jesus once upon a time and the purpose Christianity serves now. Somewhere along the way people forgot the simplicity of His message and replaced it with a message that suited their own needs. And Christians allowed it to happen! But I believe there is hope out there and I am on a mission to discover how I can make a difference.

I want to be a part of a new church. When I pray, I feel a bright light filling my heart that is dying to break out and spread over all the people around me. When I walk down the street and smile at people, I want them to be able to feel my love for them and gratitude for getting to share that one second with them. I want people to look at me and wonder what the heck is wrong with that girl that she is so generous and kind and happy. And I want to be able to shout "It's because of Christ!" without having them roll their eyes or grimace in response. It's not an easy task, and there are so many people out there who have been working for decades to do what I am talking about. It isn't a road without challenges, there will be people holding torches and shouting, trying to scare me back to where I came from. It's exhausting and heartbreaking and treacherous, but this is my declaration and I am not going back.

I am NOT a Christian. I am a disciple of Christ. And I am going to change the way you see me when I say this. Jesus is my savior. Let me tell you about His love.